The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I AM VODKA MAN
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
