she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize