11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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