I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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