I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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