wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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