no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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