So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
