If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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