Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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