His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
