Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
