Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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