remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Boobs speak an international language.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
