There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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