just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
