apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
