i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
