I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
