Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
