dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
