After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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