Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
