you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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