Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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