I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
