I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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