OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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