You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
