New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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