Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
