if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
