ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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