you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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