Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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