somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
