Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
