he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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