Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
