I can tuck mytits in my pants
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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