is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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