I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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