We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
