thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
