your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
