Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
