You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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