When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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