I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
