i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
