I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
