Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
