am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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