Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
