I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
