I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize