I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
one might say we're banned from that church
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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