you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize