If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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