Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
