you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
